I got this message from a guy today. He wrote:
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From College Freshman Guy:
I'm in my freshman year of college now. I'm not a virgin anymore so I have some confidence but there is this girl I met in my building who I think is very sexy and I want to impress her. However, I don't want her to feel like I'm coming on too strong and hitting on her because we just met and I think I'd like to be friends with her first. Do you have any tips for me? I don't have her phone number or room number yet.
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From FLYNESS:
LOL, Trust me, I was in your shoes 9 years ago. And while you might think that being her friend FIRST might make sense, it never works that way. Here's why:
Deep down, women know within minutes (if not seconds) of meeting whether or not you'd be the type of guy she'd date or not. It not only has to do with your appearance, but your style and level of confidence. Usually the most confident, laid back guys get the BEST women. And if she's attractive, she knows that you're probably physically interested in her the moment you open your mouth or even look at her.
Let's just say you try being her friend first. She will see you as someone who's too scared or too timid to "go for it." She will either treat you like a friend or may even use your interest as an ego boost. If women are honest, they know that deep down, a "male friend" is either...
A) Too scared to "close the deal" (most likely)
B) Not attracted to her at all (most unlikely)
C) Gay
You're not either of these dude.
My best advice is:
#1. Put up or shut up with this girl. In other words, make a move. The next time you see her, smile/maintain good eye contact, make small talk for about a minute or two (about her day, how she likes school, yadda-yadda), then say something like "Well I gotta get going but you seem like a cool person. Let's talk later on...what's your number?"
-If she gives it to you, put it in your cell phone and call her right then and there, so she has yours. (wait a day or two to call and set up a time to hang out)
-If she declines but says "Let me get yours." She's not interested. Politely decline, smiley and tell her "That's okay. Enjoy your day." (If you do that the right way, she may take the initiative and approach you later, after seeing that you don't "need" her. Psychology, man.)
-Also look for her body language. Is she focused on you? Looking away? Preening herself? (subconsciously fixing herself up to look more attractive for you) etc. This will tell you if she has genuine interest.
#2. Get at other women, in the meantime. What attracts women to men is the fact that he has the appearance or "aura" of a man who gets OTHER women. As stated in step #1., close the deal with women--especially if they show signs of interest. Approach, make small talk, and exchange numbers.
Overall, your profile tells me that you really don't need THAT much help. You're an athlete, have style, and are a good looking dude. (No homo. lol)
I strongly suggest checking out my book (The Facebook Datebook for Men) which you can also apply to real life situations as well. That is at http://www.FacebookDatebook.com
Hope that helps!
Flyness
